STL

I just got back from STL, Misery this evening at 6pm. Wow, after that trip... CA seriously rocks despite its crowdedness. Missouri is very black and white, and by that i mean no diversity. There aren't even signs in spanish! haha. Anyways, I was invited several times by the WASH U undergraduate to pay them a visit so I did. I wasn't very impressed with the city. First of all it is landlocked. The only attractions are a big steel arch and the mississippi river... how sad. They do offer the St Louis Rams and Cardinals however. That's not enough of an incentive to move there. So this is the first time I've been more than 60 miles away from home in 5 years. I rode 4 planes in 2.5 days. It wasn't meant to be a vacation and it sure didn't turn out to be one. but eh, whatevs. I had awful heartburn/ulcer blahblahblah lack of appetite stinging stomach crud there though. There are a lot of strange people there too. This one guy needed money i guess or he was schizo.... so he sang us the brady bunch after telling us about someone who was as good as dead in 10 different ways. It was the bad side of urban...it wasn't even bustling. it was pretty ghetto actually. The flight into STL from Phoenix was longer than expected... they held us in the air an extra 20 mins b/c of a random midwest storm. The weather was humid, but not as bad as Asia. The lightning was an amazing sight though. I did enjoy the med school even though I wasn't there for that. Bryan is currently doing research with the med school so we visited the hospitals and schtuff. The entire school of medicine plus their hospitals were huuuuuge. The undergraduate was eh. There are a couple perks though.. its a small campus which i like.. and the architecture is very neat... also the student faculty ratio is small.. so yay (for me at least). and they fund a lot of student research. but it comes with a price, a large ugly price. and its in an awful city. so anyways. im glad to be home. here are some pictures:

I bet that only costs a million there.

The undergrad

haha my dad thinks hes a babe. jk. he was scratching his head.

welcome to St. Louis, home of nothingness.

the mighty Mississippi river. and by mighty, i mean me.

haha the arch is steel. thats all.

I liked the Parkway Hotel though.

good news, i guess i won't be going to Misery for college!

Goodnight!

summer synopsis and rant

I'm the definition of blah. I don't complain or talk about things enough and it's probably unhealthy. I suck it up and roll with the punches, never stopping to deal with my own problems and/or tasks before I do other things. I'm stubborn and I make no sacrifices. I have the mentality that I can save the world or at least do everything and help everyone all at once. And you can't stop me, heck, I can't stop me. I have so much homework to finish, so many personal goals that I need to complete... but, here I am wasting my time on things that I think will make a difference. Link Crew, my volunteers...etc. I'm illogical and foolish. I took both prep econ and gov this summer, which consumed much of my "break"... and still I'm made the decision to take 0 period ap econ. 7 classes, college apps, nhs vice presidency, volunteers, peer..., etc. me time? no, not existent. and the funny thing is, aside from my classes.. everything else i do is strictly not for the purpose of college applications.
I took in 3 2-day old kittens last week because they told me if I didn't nobody would and they would have to euthanize them. Stella and Bertha didn't last a week. they were put down on saturday because they were just too sick. The 3rd one I spent all day with in hopes he would be the lone survivor... and at 12am we took him to the emergency vet and he also didn't make it. I haven't had time to even digest what happened this past week nor have I had time to sleep.
So you see, it's the same old same old. It's Link Crew training and orientation week. Next week will be crunch time as far as assignments go and still i bet ill be at the school for other things. So here it is, my rant, my synopsis. I haven't done nearly enough on my to-do list this summer. I wasn't planning on having a year like last but sadly, that's how it looks. Even still, I'm optimistic because I wasn't I would either be mentally insane or dead. Ask me how I am, and I'll tell you fine. But really, I haven't spent enough time with Debra Yeh this summer or this past year to even begin to know how I am. Believe me if this was external, the problem would be solved.. but this time I am the problem. Now, back to work...

There's something about working at the animal shelter that kicks you in the ass.

When I arrived at the shelter today I went into the cat room and looked for Scarface. This cat had gained this nickname because he was so affectionate that he rubbed his fur off one part of his face. Cats normally claw at you to get your attention, this cat was different, he pawed at you. He always made sure his claws were retracted before tapping you with his light little paws. He would let you hold him like a baby. Scarface would snuggle up under your chin or rest his head on your arm and give you kisses. Regular cats don't give kisses. He was the cat you could only dream about. Unfortunately it is kitten season and the shelter is not a no-kill shelter. Scarface was humanely euthanized this morning.

Rusty. Or "Chubby" my shepherd mix big boy. He had an interesting personality this dog. He wasn't affectionate or particularly nice. He would see me walk down the aisle with a choke chain and a leash in hand... and instantly he would spin around jump up and down bark a little and signal that he wanted to be the lucky winner to go on a walk. It was almost every day that we went for a short two lap walk around the perimeter of shelter. When I first found him in his cage he was depressed and laying down. After the first time i took "Chub" out he turned into this spirited dog with only one goal each day... to go on a walk. He didn't care about being petted or fed.. or perhaps even loved.. all he wanted was a walk. He was the first dog that I ever bathed at the shelter and he was sure handsome after his bath. He didn't complain, actually, he liked the fact that he was going on a semi-walk. His simplicity is something I will always admire.

Two weeks ago a kitten that I simply called Little Gray was put to sleep. She was horribly sick and possibly infected with Panleukopenia which is a feline parvo virus. She was probably about 6 or 7 weeks old. I held her for an hour right before she was euthanized and I could tell she was on her last leg. She has become my reason to become a veterinarian.

Many more have been euthanized during my stay at the animal shelter but these three I treated like they were my own. I wish I could have fought harder for them. Rusty and Scarface could have gotten great homes if those who could did.. and those who couldn't, like me, tried harder for them. But it does go to show that you can't always win and you can't always save everyone. That right there will definitely NOT stop me from trying. Rest my peace my boys and my baby girl.

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With the sad there's always a little bit of happy. Three days ago a little 3 week puppy came in and we named her Sadie. She has become my pride and joy. Even though my mom won't let me foster her, I look after her much of the time when I'm at the shelter. Her markings are of a St. Bernard but she's not nearly big enough for her age to fully be one. If I could find her a great home of someone I know and trust it would be more than fantastic. But even still I know she'll go fast because she's a smart and adorable puppy. She's my Sadie babie and I love her.

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There's this dog and his time is almost up. Britt and I named him Ranger because he's a cattle dog. He has a fabulous personality, the coolest color coat, and is great with baths. He's about three and he'd make a great running partner. Please if you have the time, heart, and room.. think about adopting Ranger.

A Week and A Day

At Lost For Words. A Tribute to Taeho.

http://www.dailybulletin.com/news/ci_3933944

I got the first instant message monday night at almost 11:00pm. It read:
(10:50:18 PM): oh gosh debra
(10:50:42 PM): they said taeho died...
HEYIMDEBS (10:51:44 PM): what?!

Week of finals, week of graduation, last week of highschool for seniors... wow. I can't even begin to describe the shock in words that I and many others felt Monday night upon receiving the news. Two days have passed since the accident and I am still lost for words and emotions. I was not able to see him everyday so I'm not yet able to comprehend the loss of his presence. Tonight at his memorial service was the first time I could actually cry yet it still feels so unreal. I've never witnessed anyone so mourned or so many people, many of my friends, in such pain ever in my life. Just that alone broke my heart. I can't tell you how I am feeling because I don't know, and I probably won't be able to piece it together for a while. But I believe time is all we need.

Here are my experiences and condolences summed up in words:

I met Taeho when I was in 7th grade and he was in 8th grade He was best friends with one of my very good friends, Nolan. Right off the bat you could tell he was an genuinely amazing character. We would talk as often as possible. I eventually got to see him on the weekends too because he was always with Nolan and would come to our church functions. He had this friendliness about him that no one could ever imitate. That was 4 years ago. As time passed I would see him less and less. School was busy for all of us. The biggest regret you have when you lose someone is not having taken the opportunity to spend as much time as you could with them. I'm not even sure how long has passed since the last time I saw him in person. But even still, you could never forget his smile, sincerity, silliness, and generous personality. He was so much more than just unique. I am truly blessed to have met Taeho. I could only imagine how much more of an even greater person he could have become if given the opportunity to be a doctor. Tonight (Wednesday, June 14th) was his candle light memorial service. One of his friends who spoke said that his dream was to become a doctor, to find cures, and to save lives. On the day he passed away, he achieved his dream of saving a life, but at the cost of his own. He was selfless and optimistic; if he were able to speak to us right now, I think he would want us to smile and think about good memories. There are truly no words that I or anyone could say that could take away the shock, the pain, the anger, or the sadness. My heart goes out to his mom, his family, his friends, his classmates, and anyone who he impacted in any way. We'll miss you Taeho. May you rest in peace.
This is my tribute to Taeho Lee.